It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
