so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
