you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
