I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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