Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
