Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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