Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
