did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
