my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
