Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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