Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
