I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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