In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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