I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
