my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
