if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
that's an acceptable place to lick
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
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he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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