I'm jealous of your bromance
Redeem this text for a blowjob
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize