I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
