it wasn't lemon gatorade
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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