That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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