Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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