thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your penis caused this!
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