considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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