you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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