she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
