Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
