A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
