Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
