Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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