True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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