He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
