If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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