Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Life is so much better after having sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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