I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
