I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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