i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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