I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
