I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
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I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
