A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
