She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
