belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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