He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
