I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
MIDGETS
????
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
