I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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