I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
