U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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