I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
