fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
