No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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