These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
