My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
