Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
