Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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