I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
