but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All the doctor said was why
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
