I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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