he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
