he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
