This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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